Dienstag, 10. November 2015
Changing Host Family
How I already mentioned in the other post, I changed host families. It just didn't work out, I didn't fit in in the family and I wasn't happy. I always kinda thought that I was, but now, since I'm in my new family I'm so much happier. The change was done pretty fast, on Sunday, September the 6, my new local coordinator asked me, if I could imagine to change host families and after I said yes we went to my new host family so I could meet them. After the background check was done (I think it was Tuesday) I could move to them. They are awesome and I love it here. They are both 39 and married, have 3 cats and on Thanksgiving weekend we're getting a Golden Retriever puppy. Luckily I didn't had to change schools also, so I'm still at Red Bank. So that's kinda it about the change and I can only say, if you are an exchange student and you thinking about changing host families, because it's just not working out and you and you're host family aren't happy, do it. This year is supposed to be the best year in our lifes and I think we should do everything possible so that it's gonna be it. (:
Montag, 9. November 2015
Some weird thoughts
Here I am again, I know you missed me^^Since the last time I wrote something here a lot happened, I changed host families, but I'm gonna make an extra post about it, I just had some thoughts and I wanted to write them down (and how you maybe realized, I'm changing my blog into English right now, it's just making more sense, since I'm in the USA^^).
I was at young life for the first time tonight and it was awesome. It wasn't even something big it was just the feeling, the feeling to be part of something big. I believed in God for a long time, then, about two years ago, it stopped because of a lot of reasons, I just believed back then, that there can't be a God when so much shit happens and since I'm here I'm finding my way back to God, what maybe sounds really stupid to you, but it's such an amazing feeling. I have this home feeling again when I'm in church and church here is just so much different, they are all so open, they want to you to be happy and to believe in the whole thing.
Right now, I'm sitting on my bed and I'm listening to Country Music. Before I came here I never listened to Country before,I thought it's boring,and now I can't get enough from it. There is none feeling like sitting on a camp fire, eating s'mores, playing the guitar and singing country songs. So yeah, I'm sitting here and thinking about everything and kinda the only thing I can think of is, that I was always searching for something like this here. I never thought that it's possible to have kinda every day something to smile for, to be able to say nearly every day, that the day was awesome, that you're lucky and that you wouldn't trade your life for anything on this world. I could cry because I'm so happy. It's just that in Germany, I wasn't really happy. I always tried to figure out who I am and who I wanna be, there are a lot of people who hate me for kinda no reason, people who have fun to see other people suffer because of them. I always was searching for a place I can call home not because I was born there and my family and friends are living there, but because I wanna be there, because I love it there. And that's exactly what I found here. Sure, I'm not happy the whole time, I have times where I'm pissed because of school or something but overall, this is the life I wanna live for the rest of my life, I don't know if this is the place I wanna stay forever, but I wanna stay here for now. And not only until this school year is over and I'm gonna do everything it takes that I can stay here and graduate, because I can finally say that I'm happy. One of the biggest goals I had before I began this year was, that I wanna figure out who I am and who I wanna be. So yeah, I kinda figured out, that I'm this depressed, little girl, which is hiding behind a wall of black clothes and a lot of weird music, who is too shy to talk to anyone and always only thinks about what people think about her and that's definitively not the person I wanna be and since I'm here I already changed a lot. I'm still afraid like heck to talk to people I don't really know, but it's getting a lot better. This is something I could have never imagined in Germany, there are too many people who judged me for every breath I talke. So yeah, whatever, I still love my family and friends in Germany but this is the life, which is made for me. And I',m starting believing, that this is the life God chose for me, so for now, I'm just having the time of my life, listening to country music and enjoying whatever comes next.
That's it for now, I hope it wasn't too confusing or something, so see you next time (:
I was at young life for the first time tonight and it was awesome. It wasn't even something big it was just the feeling, the feeling to be part of something big. I believed in God for a long time, then, about two years ago, it stopped because of a lot of reasons, I just believed back then, that there can't be a God when so much shit happens and since I'm here I'm finding my way back to God, what maybe sounds really stupid to you, but it's such an amazing feeling. I have this home feeling again when I'm in church and church here is just so much different, they are all so open, they want to you to be happy and to believe in the whole thing.
Right now, I'm sitting on my bed and I'm listening to Country Music. Before I came here I never listened to Country before,I thought it's boring,and now I can't get enough from it. There is none feeling like sitting on a camp fire, eating s'mores, playing the guitar and singing country songs. So yeah, I'm sitting here and thinking about everything and kinda the only thing I can think of is, that I was always searching for something like this here. I never thought that it's possible to have kinda every day something to smile for, to be able to say nearly every day, that the day was awesome, that you're lucky and that you wouldn't trade your life for anything on this world. I could cry because I'm so happy. It's just that in Germany, I wasn't really happy. I always tried to figure out who I am and who I wanna be, there are a lot of people who hate me for kinda no reason, people who have fun to see other people suffer because of them. I always was searching for a place I can call home not because I was born there and my family and friends are living there, but because I wanna be there, because I love it there. And that's exactly what I found here. Sure, I'm not happy the whole time, I have times where I'm pissed because of school or something but overall, this is the life I wanna live for the rest of my life, I don't know if this is the place I wanna stay forever, but I wanna stay here for now. And not only until this school year is over and I'm gonna do everything it takes that I can stay here and graduate, because I can finally say that I'm happy. One of the biggest goals I had before I began this year was, that I wanna figure out who I am and who I wanna be. So yeah, I kinda figured out, that I'm this depressed, little girl, which is hiding behind a wall of black clothes and a lot of weird music, who is too shy to talk to anyone and always only thinks about what people think about her and that's definitively not the person I wanna be and since I'm here I already changed a lot. I'm still afraid like heck to talk to people I don't really know, but it's getting a lot better. This is something I could have never imagined in Germany, there are too many people who judged me for every breath I talke. So yeah, whatever, I still love my family and friends in Germany but this is the life, which is made for me. And I',m starting believing, that this is the life God chose for me, so for now, I'm just having the time of my life, listening to country music and enjoying whatever comes next.
That's it for now, I hope it wasn't too confusing or something, so see you next time (:
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